


nowhere to run

by rainbowinthesky



Category: Formula 1 RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - Shipwrecked, Desert Island, Falling In Love, M/M, Survival
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-07
Updated: 2021-03-07
Packaged: 2021-03-12 13:29:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 20,711
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29885292
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rainbowinthesky/pseuds/rainbowinthesky
Summary: Sebastian is looking forward to an amazing boat trip to some of Indonesian’s most beautiful islands, but when the dream becomes a nightmare he has to depend on a (not so) complete Finnish stranger to survive.
Relationships: Kimi Räikkönen/Sebastian Vettel
Comments: 14
Kudos: 34





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [fanatic4f1](https://archiveofourown.org/users/fanatic4f1/gifts).



> This fic is inspired on true events based on a podcast I was listening to not too long ago. The story stuck with me for days and wouldn’t let me go. Then my brain started to speculate about Simi being stranded on a deserted island and voila, here we are.
> 
> This is dedicated to my dearest friend Camila, **fanatic4f1**. She’s the absolute sweetest, supporting me through and through, even in her hardest of times. My gratitude is endless. This one is for you, querida. 💕
> 
> A moodboard to go with the story:
> 
> [](https://ibb.co/Gdk4qNs)

_BOOM!_

It’s a startling loud sound that makes Sebastian forget about his nauseousness for a moment. He’s been feeling green for a few hours now, the violent waves constantly hitting the boat are making him feel awfully sick. He wanders to the deck to see what caused the loud noise and shaking of the boat. People are watching over the railing when Seb joins them and what he sees takes his breath away. He can literally see the coral they bumped into; an amazing explosion and display of colors and different textures. Seb never knew it grew in the middle of the sea as well, he always thought coral reefs were mostly found by shorelines. But clearly he was wrong.

A new wave hits the wooden boat they’re on and Seb feels it shudder and creak under his feet again. He makes it to a bucket just in time to empty the contents of stomach for what feels like the twentieth time today. It’s surprising he is still throwing up, because he hasn’t been able to keep anything inside for a few good hours now. As he wipes his mouth and turns, he bumps into a guy who’s stepping away from the railing, probably just got done looking at the coral too. The man looks up with a quirking eyebrow, asking if Seb is okay.

Nodding dazedly, Seb gets a good look at the guy. He’s about the same height as Sebastian is, he is wearing shorts and a simple white v neck shirt. There’s a red Ferrari cap on his head with longish blonde hair peeking from underneath it. When Seb’s eyes settle on his face and the piercing blue eyes, his heart pretty much stops beating. He knows that face.

It’s the face of the current Formula 1 world champion Kimi Räikkönen.

The guy he asked for an autograph when Sebastian was at the German GP last year and who completely ignored him, as if he didn’t exist, with this arrogant air around him. And even though he always thought Kimi was gorgeous, the dismissiveness made Seb instantly dislike him after that. But now that he’s faced with him again and having that intense stare directed at him, Seb can’t help but be a little starstruck. He shakes his head to get out of it and hopes his voice works when he starts speaking.

“Y-yeah, I’m fine,” he stammers. “Just a little seasick.”

“I can see that,” Kimi smirks, still studying Seb’s face closely. Seb feels himself flush under the scrutiny and consoles himself that red is a better color than green in this case.

“Do you know if the boat is ok?” Seb asks, trying to change the subject.

“Bwoah, don’t know. I think so. We’re not sinking down, are we?”

Kimi is probably right and Seb knows he shouldn’t worry so much. He just wishes they will make a stop at one of the islands soon so he can take a breather, and for the love of god, if the waves would calm down a little he would very much appreciate that too. If he had known beforehand he had a tendency to become seasick, he wouldn’t have booked a four day boat trip on his own. But he’d wanted to see as much of the Indonesian islands as he could while he was still here and the island hopping was definitely part of the experience.

Just as Sebastian is about to reply, the deck beneath his feet starts to move in shocking motions again and to keep his balance Seb has to hold on to something. The nearest thing in reach is Kimi’s bicep and not a second later Seb is clinging to it, seeing a little pale around the edges again. Kimi flinches away from him, gently but firmly removing Seb’s hand. It baffles Sebastian... _What the hell?_

The other man smiles tightly at him before he turns and walks away, going over to another guy who Seb assumes is a friend of the driver. Seb huffs, turning his back to Kimi too and walking in the opposite direction. He can’t deny Kimi reacting like that hurt a little bit. The guy had acted as if Seb had some sort of dirty illness or something. It bothers Seb more than he would like to admit.

Ugh, this trip only just started and he’ll have to spend four days with this guy on this small boat...

Well, Seb refuses to let an arrogant, snobby famous driver ruin his trip to the islands. He’s a social guy, he can easily find other people to talk to. It will be no problem for him, Kimi can kiss his ass for all he cares. He’s still moping and grumbling a bit when he reaches his mattress. Seeing as he’s just a student still, he had booked the cheapest arrangement and that’s the option to sleep on the deck with other people. Thankfully he did have his own mattress though. And he doesn’t care much if he has to share his space with other people. It means he’ll get to know new people and hopefully their cultures, too.

It’s still day, though, so Seb is the only one here now. He lies down, in hopes he’ll be a little less seasick and maybe he can catch some zzz’s in the process too. As soon as he closes his eyes, he realizes how tired he actually is. All the new impressions of the day, combined with his exhausted body and the constant rocking of the boat are making him fall asleep in no time.

*

A little later, he wakes up to the sound of nervous shatter around him. Blinking his eyes open, Seb looks around and sees that the crew of the ship is having a heated discussion. Other people are also involving themselves in it. The whole vibe feels uncomfortable and downright alarming. Sebastian instantly has a very bad feeling about this. He thinks back on the crash they had with the coral earlier and suspects it has something to do with that.

Standing up, Seb shuffles himself closer to the group of people with very serious looks on their faces. He almost doesn’t want to ask what’s wrong because he fears the answer too much, but he has to know what’s going on, maybe he can help.

Fear grips him tightly as he listens in on what they are saying.

_”We need to fix that hole!”_

_”Someone needs to check if we have enough life jackets.”_

_”Go check on the lifeboat.”_

“What’s going on?” he asks Arif, one of the crew members who showed him around on the ship earlier today. He likes Arif, they talked a lot this afternoon. When Seb couldn’t stop throwing up, Arif was there to talk to him and ease his mind.

The other people of the group scatter around the ship, each going a different direction with urgency in their steps.

“There’s a hole in the boat,” Arif explains quickly, barely looking at Sebastian while he does so. “We are trying to fix it, but the water is flooding in fast.”

“Did you try to call for help? Send out an SOS or something?” Seb asks, not really believing the situation he’s in right now.

“Unfortunately this boat is not equipped with that,” Arif tells him, the regret swirling in his eyes. “And we have no signal to call for help either.”

“Can I help?” Seb offers. He has barely even processed the very worrying information, but his survival instinct somehow immediately kicks in. And his brain is trying to sooth him and tell him it isn’t that bad, surely it will be fixed.

_I don’t want to die._

Before he can really let that thought sink in, Arif is distracting him by shooting him quick instructions.

“I need you to come with me. I need help with the life jackets. Come on.”

Arif strides away with Seb mindlessly following him. He’s trying to think practical and he has this intense desire to make himself useful. They go to the top deck where the cockpit of the boat is. Arif makes quick work of opening the door and he finds the jackets easily.

“How many do we have?” Seb asks.

“Should be enough, but let me check the passenger list. Can you count the jackets? Be careful with them, don’t throw them around, handle them with care, ok?”

Seb nods quickly and starts right away with his task. While he does so, he wonders where the other crew members have gone to and what they’re doing. Hopefully the life jackets won’t be needed and everything will be alright in just a few minutes. How hard could it be to fix a hole, really?

While Arif checks the passenger list and Seb is counting the life jackets, another crew member, Faisal, hurries to them, panting and anguish clear in his eyes.

“Arif, we need the life jackets down on the deck _now_. The hole is too big, it can’t be fixed. The ship is going down.”

It’s like a bomb exploding, Seb can’t hear or see anything for a second. How is he supposed to make sense of this? Is a thing like this even comprehensible? A deep panic is trying to claim him, but Seb fights it. He knows that if he wants to survive this, he has to have a clear mind and anxiety will not help him at all.

_Stay calm. And keep thinking._

“How long before the boat starts sinking down?” he asks Faisal, silently cursing the light tremble in his voice.

“I don’t know, but I think we have some time,” Faisal answers. “Come on, let’s go. The sooner everyone has these on, the better.”

“How many life jackets are there?” Arif asks Seb.

“27.”

“Good. We have 25 passengers, including the crew. Let’s hope all of them work.”

Seb wonders if Arif feels as calm as he looks on the outside. The only thing that’s giving his nervousness away is the frown on his face as he turns to the pile of life jackets again.

They each gather as many as they can and bring them down onto the deck. They can’t bring all the life jackets down at once - they’ll have to make several trips up and down, but Seb knows both Arif and Faisal have better and more important things to do now. So as soon as they get down, Seb goes searching for someone to help him. The first person he bumps into happens to be Kimi, but Sebastian needs help and he really doesn’t care who it is.

“I need your help,” Seb says bluntly, not asking and already making his way up, expecting Kimi to follow him immediately. He throws a quick glance back to see if he does and to his relief Kimi is right behind him. As they climb the stairs to the top deck, Seb hears Kimi’s raspy voice asking something. He doesn’t hear what it is, because a huge wave hits the side of the boat, making a deafening noise and causing the boat to shake violently. Seb has to hold on tight to the railing and he’s glad that he doesn’t feel the need to throw up anymore. Somehow his body has seemed to forget it has motion sickness.

When they are both up the top deck, Seb turns to Kimi, asking him to repeat his question.

“Do you know what’s going on?”

“They didn’t tell you yet?” Seb asks, disbelief clear in his voice. Surely everyone on the ship must know by now, he can’t believe nobody told Kimi.

“They just told me there’s a hole in the boat,” Kimi answers with a deep frown on his face. In fact, he appears to be very anxious and scared, having trouble to realize this is really happening. Seb understands all too well, it’s like he is going to wake up any second now from this nightmare... but he is trying to put those emotions far, far away. He won’t get anything done if he allows them to get the upper hand.

“Look, we are probably going to end up in the water very soon. Let’s not waste any time, ok? We need to get these life jackets to the people. Can you do that?” Seb speaks with what he hopes is a soothing and calming voice, trying to get Kimi into the right headspace as well. Kimi nods and his eyes seem to clear a little. They hurry to get all of the jackets down to Arif and Faisal, who are both instructing the other passengers on how to use them.

Seb and Kimi are the last ones to put on their life jackets and once they’re done with their task, Kimi wordlessly wanders back to his friend. Seb doesn’t mind, he understands, but god, he feels so incredibly lonely right now. A comforting presence of someone he knows around him would have been very nice, but in a strange, wicked way he’s also glad he’s on his own, because he doesn’t have to worry about anyone but himself. He can be as selfish as he wants (without bringing anyone in danger of course) and he can make all the decisions on just survival instincts instead of being held back by someone else.

Noticing how the sky is slowly getting darker, Seb realizes it’s evening and it will be completely dark in just under an hour. Oh god, the thought of having to spend the night here on a sinking boat or worse yet, in the cold water with no prospect of getting saved anytime soon is immensely unsettling. There’s an eerie quiet on the boat now. People are whispering in hushed tones and everyone seems to be focused on only two things: themselves and surviving this.

Suddenly, the boat shifts and Seb can literally feel it sinking into the sea. He holds onto the railing and thinks, _this is it._

But nothing happens after that and he lets out a relieved, deep sigh. The boat is not sinking further, but Seb is sure it will eventually, slowly but surely.

He feels a hand on his shoulder and when Seb turns to look who it is, he sees Arif’s worried eyes.

“Are you alright?”

“Uhm.” How do you answer such a question when it’s almost certain you’re gonna die not too long from now? He appreciates Arif asking, though. The man is facing the same faith, but he still has the presence of mind to care for Seb.

“I’m doing alright,” he lies, but by the look on Arif’s expressive face he’s not doing a great job. “I’m scared,” he whispers and Arif nods in sympathy.

“Me too,” the man admits. “But we are going to do anything we can to survive this. If we die, it won’t be for lack of trying,” he smiles at Seb. Seb doesn’t know how Arif is doing it, but somehow his smile reassures him. He may feel very alone on this sinking boat, but at least there’s someone who tries to look after him. It’s a soothing thought and he’s very thankful for Arif being here.

With a squeeze on Seb’s shoulder, Arif walks away and towards Faisal who calls for him to release the lifeboat into the water. Seb watches them and frowns. There’s only one lifeboat? And it’s a small one too. Only six people will fit in that.

Jesus Christ. The situation is even worse than he thought.

*

It feels ridiculous to just sit and wait until the boat sinks completely. But it’s literally all they can do. They all sit on the benches next to the railing, because it’s too slippery to walk anymore. The gasoline from the motor has seeped onto the deck and that combined with the water that splashes with every big wave... it’s just too dangerous. Seb watches over the sea, but he tries not to think too much about the idea that he’ll be in there very soon. Instead he thinks about his family. How Fabian got so excited that Seb was going on this trip and how he wished he could come with. And how his mom had been so worried she made him promise to call every day, even if it was in the middle of the night in Germany. His dad acted as if he wasn’t worried, but when he had brought Seb to the airport, his eyes told him very different things.

His heart clenches at the thought of his mom waiting for his phone call tonight. A call that won’t come. And there’s nothing he can do to reach out to her. His family won’t ever know what happened to him if he dies here. The thought makes him even sadder, so he tries to stop thinking altogether.

The waiting is killing him, though. It’s really unbearable and just as he’s about to talk to Arif or Faisal about it - who are still pacing back and forth to check on the passengers, even though it’s precariously wet and greasy - a huge tidal wave crashes into the boat, taking everyone overboard and into the sea.

Sebastian gets sucked into the water and all he can see when he opens his shocked eyes is water and bubbles and darkness. Not knowing which way is up, Seb feels the panic rising within him. Oh god, he really is going to die here, because he doesn’t know how he will ever get out of it and up again. The need to breathe only gets more urgent the more he fears for his life and he desperately tries to find the surface, but it’s futile.

Just when he’s about to lose hope, someone grabs his arm tightly and pulls him up to the surface. When he comes up, his lungs fill themselves with air immediately and Seb starts to cough. He had inhaled some water while he panicked and it’s hard to breathe and cough at the same time. But the overwhelming relief of getting to surface again predominates. He looks up to see who saved him and he sees it’s Arif, who’s on the lifeboat.

“Come on, try and climb into the boat,” the man encourages Seb.

It’s a struggle, because Seb’s limbs are still trembling with lack of oxygen, coughing and paralyzing fear, but with Arif’s help he finally manages. When he sits down, there are four other people in the boat with him. An elderly couple and two girls, who, if Seb had to guess, are probably friends. They all have one thing in common: the shell shocked terrified look on their faces.

Seb looks around and sees a lot of passengers floating around the sinking boat and the lifeboat. He tries to look for Kimi and his friend but he doesn’t see them right away. It worries him, but not enough to go into a panic again. He’s too busy focusing on himself.

Some people are climbing back onto the slowly sinking boat, getting on the roof to try and stay dry, others are gathering around the lifeboat and holding on to the railing. Thank god the life jackets are working; of all the people Seb can see in the sea, they all are floating and managing to keep their heads above the water.

A sudden shiver goes through him and he realizes how cold he actually is. The water temperature is good enough not to get hypothermic, but the wind over his wet body and the fact that the night is just starting are making it insidiously cold. In a few minutes the sky will be pitch black and it will be practically impossible to see everyone clearly. Seb hopes they can keep together as much as possible during the night.

As much as he hates the idea, they will probably have to think of a system of taking turns on who gets to be on the lifeboat. He can’t be the only one to stay high and dry, it wouldn’t be fair. He turns to Arif and voices his thoughts. Arif is nodding along as Seb explains his idea for the switching system.

“Yes, that’s probably the best thing to do,” Arif tells him. “I was thinking about that too. We still have the roof of the boat so we can use that in our system as well for the time being. The longer everyone can save their energy, the better.”

Arif thinks for a long second before he continues. “Ok Sebastian...your name was Sebastian right?” Seb nods. “Alright, here’s what we’ll do...”

*

Sebastian’s teeth are chattering hard and he can’t seem to stop. He’s been in the water for only fifteen minutes and the thought of having to be in there for another few hours is absolutely killing him. He’d been in the lifeboat for approximately three hours before they switched and it was Seb’s turn to be in the water. He had dreaded the moment and now he’s reminded exactly why. The waves keep crashing over him as he holds on tightly to the boat, making him gasp for air every time he surfaces. The cool wind is freezing his face and hands and it all seems so hopeless...

He wishes he had someone to talk to. Anything really, to distract him from his misery. Arif is in the water now too, but he’s busy trying to calm down a girl who seems to be having a panic attack. God, he hopes that won’t happen to him. The situation is already despairing enough, he really doesn’t want something like that adding to it. While he watches as Arif comforts the girl, he suddenly feels a presence next to him that wasn’t there before.

Turning his head to right, he has to squint his eyes a little to see who it is. The person comes closer and then Sebastian recognizes him. It’s Kimi. His friend is next to him and they’re talking in hushed, soothing tones to each other. Another flare of jealousy goes through him. At least, they have each other. He looks up to the sky as he feels tears forming in his eyes and sees the bright stars shining. His face crumples for a moment and he lets the tears fall freely. They immediately disappear into the sea anyway, so what does it matter?

“Hey, are you ok?” he hears Kimi’s gravely voice ask.

Seb wants to angrily wipe away his tears, but he realizes with a desperate chuckle that his face is already wet.

“I’m fine,” he answers through his hard chattering teeth. Kimi raises a skeptical eyebrow at him, obviously not falling for it. Seb just shrugs, not knowing what to say. What do you say in a situation like this anyway? It feels like all of his worst nightmares are coming true all at once.

“You travelled alone?” Kimi keeps talking to him and Seb is strangely thankful for it. Although he doesn’t want to talk about this subject at all, Kimi talking to him is taking his mind off the dire circumstances for a while. It makes him forget about the cold, if only for a minute.

“Yes,” Seb tries to say, but a huge wave pulls him under again for a second. He comes up, gasping for air and sees that Kimi and his friend are doing the same. Shaking the water from his eyes, he blinks them open and sees Kimi staring at him again, obviously waiting for an answer still. “Yeah, I’m on my own. Not my brightest idea, I must admit.”

He starts to cough as drops of salty water get stuck in his lungs again. When he finally catches his breath again, he continues. “You have your friend. That’s nice.”

Kimi glances at his friend and they chuckle. It confuses Seb, because what’s so funny about this? Oh, maybe he has mistaken Kimi’s friend for his... boyfriend?

“He’s my brother,” Kimi says casually. _Oh, that makes more sense._

“Where were you before? I didn’t see you in the water earlier?”

Kimi looks a little pained at the question and his brother answers for him.

“I got knocked out after the huge wave that took us from the boat. Kimi stayed with me, but we drifted a little too far away,” Kimi’s brother tells him.

“Oh god, are you ok now?” Seb asks with wide eyes. That must have been so scary. For Kimi, too. It suddenly reminds him of his earlier thoughts, of being sort of glad he was alone here, because he doesn’t have to worry about something happening to his loved ones.

“Yeah, I’m ok. Well, as ok as the circumstances allow of course,” Kimi’s brother says, managing a lopsided grin and Seb is amazed by the positivity of some people here. He can’t help but smile back, though he’s sure it looks a little twisted on his face with the way his teeth just won’t stop chattering. He hopes the hours will go by quickly and he’ll get to be either on the lifeboat or on the roof of the sinking one soon. He longs to get out of the water, but even more so, he yearns to feel the sun on his skin again. It will make this a bit more bearable.

*

The night has dragged on and on, but Kimi’s brother and Arif have both taken Seb under their wings throughout the whole night. At some point, Seb had introduced himself to the two brothers by telling them his name and where he was from. They had done the same, telling him they were from Finland and decided to travel together because Kimi had had a hectic year and wanted to escape from it for a bit. They didn’t elaborate on it, but Seb of course knew what they meant with it. He decided not to mention that he was actually a big F1 fanatic and that he’d recognized Kimi right away, because he didn’t want to make the current world champion uncomfortable.

It was mostly Rami, Kimi’s brother, who made sure to keep talking to him while they were in the water, with Kimi chiming in every now and again. And Arif checked in with him occasionally too, encouraging Seb to hold on just a little longer. He appreciated their effort a lot, because it really helped him focus on his survival and it deflected him from overthinking. Seb had not even complained that much, but he guessed everyone could hear his chattering from a mile away. There was no way he could stop it, though.

He’s finally on the roof of the sinking boat, with Rami and Kimi next to him and the first sparkles of the sunlight are rising on the horizon. Seb is beyond relieved that the night is finally over. The thought, however, of spending another night like this horrifies him, but the situation is hopeless... Nighttime is still far away though, so he tries not to think about it too much. Instead he makes small talk with Rami and Kimi. Mainly Rami, as Kimi is mostly silently listening to their conversation. The chats they have are really insignificant, for the most part it’s to distract from their circumstances.

In the middle of their conversation about the traveling they’ve done before, Kimi lies down on his back and closes his eyes. Rami raises an eyebrow as he looks at Seb.

“Probably a good idea to try and get some rest,” Rami says, smiling while looking softly at his brother. Seb nods and follows Kimi’s example. He doesn’t know how it happens, but he actually sleeps for a little bit, too exhausted to fight against it.

Seb startles awake when he hears a sharp whistleblow. One that he’s come to hate already, because it means they’ll switch places again. He opens his eyes with difficulty, the sun shining brightly in them and he looks around a bit bewildered. Checking his watch, he sees that he slept for almost two hours. That was more than he could hope for. Rami and Kimi also seem to be woken by the whistle, looking just as crumpled as Seb feels.

At least the sun is out now so it should be a little better to be in the water at this moment. Before Seb slides himself off the roof and into the sea, he does a 360 turn, scanning their surroundings. He doesn’t see anything for miles and miles, not a boat in sight for which he so desperately hopes. Just as he’s about to give up, he does a double take.

_Is that...an island?_

After rubbing the sleep out of his eyes first, Seb takes another look, squinting into the distance. Yes, that’s clearly land there. Probably about four miles away? He isn’t sure, but it doesn’t matter - it’s land! God, this could be their lifeline, their saving... Jumping into the water, Seb is eager to get to Arif and tell him his findings. He swims as quickly as he can and just as Arif has lowered himself from the lifeboat into the sea as well, Seb reaches him.

“There is an island not too far,” he exclaims loudly, attracting looks from the other stranded passengers as well.

“Where is it?” Arif asks, frowning and looking confused as he glances around him. Seb points into the right direction and tells Arif where to look exactly.

“I think you’re right,” Arif says, but he sounds unsure. Seb doesn’t like that, he wants the other man just as happy with the discovery as he is. “But Sebastian, we will never make it. We don’t have enough space in the boat for everyone and we don’t even have paddles to move forward...”

“We could swim,” Seb simply says and his heart sinks when Arif immediately shakes his head.

“No, it’s too far away. Not everyone is fit enough to make it. It’s better if we stay here, together.”

Despair is claiming Sebastian. He wants so bad to just swim to that island. Another night in the water is going to be the hell and he _really_ doesn’t want that again. He swims around, asking other passengers what they think and everyone agrees with Arif, they prefer to stay with the boat. Even Kimi and Rami seem hesitant, listing everything that could go wrong if they decided to swim.

“But the big boat will be completely under the surface by night, I think,” Seb argues. “We’ll lose the roof and have to be in the water even longer before we can switch again.”

Arif and other passengers join Seb in his conversation with the two Finn’s.

“It’s better if we stay together. That way, if we do get saved, we won’t be scattered all around,” a British tourist says.

“But guys, think about it...another night without the roof to rest on, it’s going to be absolute hell!”

He knows he sounds extremely frustrated, but Seb can’t help it. There’s an island right in their vision and no one wants to take that gamble with him to try and reach it?! He just doesn’t get it. They’re gonna die if they stay here anyway...better die trying to survive, right? Or so he reasons. He gives up trying to convince the others though... for now anyway. It will only create a tension they really don’t need right now.

But as the morning progresses, Seb gets more and more restless. He keeps staring at the island far away and his mind nags at him to just go. Staying here will slowly drive him crazy, he’s sure of it. He tries to calculate how long it will take to get to the island if he decides to swim. The current, the wind, the rise and fall of the tides, it all needs to be taken into account. He estimates it would take about eight hours of swimming - if all goes well and according to plan of course. He might make it before the dark settles in. He glances at his watch. It’s almost 11 in the morning. The sun will go down around 7pm. That’s exactly eight hours... if he really wants to swim, he needs to do it _now_.

Arif is next to him and he taps the man on his shoulder. When Arif turns to look at him, Seb braces himself for what he’s going to say next.

“Arif, I’m going to swim. I can’t stay here any longer.”

Arif’s eyes widen at him, frowning disapprovingly.

“Please, don’t do that,” he almost begs. “It’s not safe, Sebastian.”

“It’s not safe to stay here, either. I’m sorry, Arif. But I got to go. Thank you for everything.”

Before Arif can answer, Seb swims away from him. He can’t stand to see the pained look on Arif’s face, knowing he’s worrying and disappointing him. Glancing around to try and spot the two brothers, he finds them on the roof of the boat. It won’t be long before it will be completely under the surface, though. That will cause so many more problems.

Problems that Seb just doesn’t want to deal with.

“I’m going to swim, guys,” he tells the people on the roof. “I’m not waiting any longer, so if you want to join me, make that decision now.”

Sebastian’s eyes travel over the faces, some look shocked, some look slightly interested, but most of them look at him as if he’s absolutely crazy. Kimi and Rami both look unsure as they whisper heatedly to each other, probably discussing whether they are taking that leap of faith or not. Seb turns, not wanting to wait for them to finally make that decision. If he needs to go alone, then so be it.

He gets on his back and begins his journey, swimming towards the direction of the island. Now that he’s made the decision to just go, he feels some sort of calm wash over him. He’s finally doing something useful, working towards a goal instead of just aimlessly floating around. It will take his mind off the worries too, the only thing he’ll be thinking of in the coming hours will be to get to the island, preferably before dark.

Just as his brain starts to shut down and focus solely on swimming, he hears someone calling his name. He strains his neck backwards to see who it is and he sees Rami, Kimi and two other tourists swimming towards him. Feeling insanely pleased that he won’t be alone on this undoubtedly harrowing swimming trip to the island, Seb slows down his pace so they can get caught up with him. He had been totally prepared to do this alone and he had made peace with it, but to know he’s going to be joined by four other people gives him great comfort. It won’t be as lonely anymore.

*

They manage to stay together surprisingly well. There’s a whistle attached to each life jacket and every once in a while, someone blows on it to signal to the others where they are. The sea has calmed down a bit, thankfully, and the waves are not as wild and high as they were yesterday and last night. They still wash over Seb’s face with every swimming stroke he makes and it's utterly annoying, but he tries to ignore it as much as possible. It’s not what he wants to focus on. Getting to the island is the main goal here and all Sebastian can really think about.

Because they have to swim on their backs, the sun is constantly shining brightly on his face and Seb can feel his skin getting burnt slowly but surely. The heat of it seeps into his cheeks and forehead, but the cool water of the sea soothes it a bit. He wonders what his face will look like once they finally reach the island... probably like a real flaked tomato. And maybe he’ll have some blisters from the heat of the sun, too. These are all irrelevant problems for now, though. There are more pressing matters he’s worrying about at the moment.

The salty water that is getting in his mouth every time a wave crashes over him is absolutely killing Sebastian. That, combined with the blasting heat of the sun, is making him very thirsty. He yearns for a few good big gulps of drinkable water. Thankfully, just before they were thrown overboard, Arif had instructed everyone to drink as much water as they could. Seb had drunk three of his large water bottles, so he should be hydrated enough for at least a few more hours. He just really hopes there’s a freshwater well somewhere on the island.

He pushes the thought of water out of his mind for now, because it doesn’t do him anything good to worry about something he can’t do anything about. He looks around him and notices that he and Kimi are closest to each other, both swimming a lot faster than the other three. In fact, the others are nowhere in sight, probably drifted off by the current and their slower swimming. Sebastian blows his whistle and gets a weak, far away sound back.

“Where’s Rami?” Seb hears Kimi’s worried voice coming from next to him. Kimi is so close that if Seb wanted to touch him, he could. He’s surprised by the sudden nearness of the other man, but it will make communicating a bit easier this way. The waves are loud and it’s hard to hear each other when they talk.

“I don’t know, I think I hear them whistling, but they seem to be drifting further and further away,” Seb is almost screaming the words but it’s the only way Kimi will hear him.

“I’m going back,” Kimi says equally loud, “I need to find Rami.”

“No!” Seb immediately replies a bit hysterically. That is _not_ a good idea. They need to stay together or they will get as off track as Rami and the others are. And who knows what will happen to them then? It will only lessen their chances of survival. “No, please don’t Kimi. We can’t.”

He turns his head to look into Kimi’s eyes and he sees the conflict there. The man is torn about wanting to keep going and survive this and going back to his brother, his family. It’s a choice no one wants to make. If it were Fabian, Seb would want to do the same, Feeling sorry for Kimi, Seb tries to calm him a little with his words. “I get it, he’s your brother. But think rationally, Kimi. We can’t afford to go back. Let’s just hope Rami can make it to the island.”

As soon as he finishes saying that, Seb instantly feels like a hypocrite. If Fabian was there with him, he'd absolutely go and find him. The mere thought of abandoning his little brother makes his empty stomach want to throw up again.

There’s a good chance Rami and the others will make it, though, maybe only a little later than Seb and Kimi. The current and the waves are worrying though, but Seb has faith in Rami, he’s a young and strong guy, mentally too. If anyone could do it, it’s Rami.

Seb’s heart clenches at the look in Kimi’s eyes. The other man obviously knows Seb is right, but it doesn’t make it easier to make the decision to keep going. It’s exactly what Kimi is choosing to do now, though. He nods firmly at Sebastian and they keep on swimming on their backs, side by side, the sun burning on their no longer pale faces.

*

Every five minutes, Seb keeps glancing towards the island. They’ve been swimming for about four hours now and nothing appears to be happening? The island is just as far away as it was before, or so it seems. Are they even making progress? If they are, it must be only a small amount of it. Seb can’t see how they will make it before night falls and the thought is a little scary. The island won’t be as visible in the pit dark of the night and the thought of getting lost in the open sea is frankly more than a little frightening.

They just need to swim even faster than they already are and Seb tries to do so, but his body is at its absolute limit. And he knows it because his arms and legs are getting tired. He’s ignoring that feeling for the most part and he’s very successful at it, but he can’t deny that his body is getting more and more exhausted. Kimi seems to be in the same state as he is, judging by the hard look of concentration on his face.

Sebastian glances at Kimi every so often, just to see if he’s still nearby. He doesn’t want to lose him, too. Often, he catches Kimi glancing back at him at the same moment. They encourage each other by acknowledging the other with a nod of the head or with actual supportive words. It’s a bit frustrating that they can’t converse like Seb would like to. An actual conversation would be very welcome, it would take off his mind of this harrowing journey, but the sounds of the waves are just too loud.

So he busies his mind with thinking about stupid irrelevant stuff. Like how he’s going to take his car to the garage to finally fix the weird sound it makes when he starts instead of trying to figure it out on his own, if he ever makes it home again. And how he will definitely take Fabian to the fair like he’s promised for so long but never actually did because he was too busy studying. He’s also going to call his sisters more, he knows he’s been terrible at it lately. His mom would like that too, she’s always berating him for disappearing for too long.

Oh, his poor mom. Seb can feel his eyes getting wet when he thinks of how she’s feeling right now. She’s probably worrying like crazy, probably already in contact with the German embassy in Indonesia. Maybe it will alarm some higher ups and send them into action.

Sebastian is so deep in thought, he doesn’t hear Kimi yelling his name at first. Only when Kimi swims to him and touches his arm, he startles back to awareness.

“I think I can see the trees,” Kimi shouts over the noises of the high waves.

Whipping his gaze to the island right after Kimi had uttered the words, Seb can see that he’s right.

 _Oh my god_ he thinks excitedly... they are actually making progress. The contours of the trees are clearly visible now. Where it was just a green blur for a very long time, he now sees individually shaped trees. The fact that they _are_ getting closer to the island is doing so much good for his morale. He looks to the side and grins big at Kimi, giving him a thumbs up.

“Come on, Kimi! Let’s try and make it before the night comes,” he yells. Kimi nods back, just as determined as Sebastian is. It feels nice to have him around, Kimi is focused and he doesn’t complain. Sebastian couldn’t have asked for a better swimming partner to be honest.

*

Another three hours go by where Sebastian just isn’t thinking at all. It feels like an invisible automatic pilot or force has taken over his body. He just swims and swims and occasionally encourages Kimi to keep going and that’s it. He’s not even aware of time anymore, the focus is completely on keeping his arms and legs moving forwards.

Every time he glances towards the island now, it’s getting closer and closer. The hope rises within him with every meter they move closer. It’s not going to be much longer now. At least, that’s what he hopes for.

He wonders how he’s not in pain right now. His arms and legs should be hurting after the excessive use of them in the past almost eight hours. They didn’t rest for a second and in any normal circumstances Sebastian is sure his limbs would be sore and cramping long before. But somehow, his body is programmed to be in this survival mode and it knows exactly what to do to pull him through. It’s amazing, really.

And then Sebastian suddenly thinks he can feel sand under his feet.

He stops swimming and checks if he really felt that right. Tentatively he tries to see if he can actually stand up. He screams with joy when he feels the steady earth under his feet. Kimi has not noticed he stopped swimming and he cranes his neck up to see where the sound is coming from.

“Kimi! We made it!” Seb screams at him. “We can stand here!”

The Finn immediately tries to stand up and his eyes widen when he feels the sand under his feet. The water reaches to their waists and Sebastian can easily walk now. He walks, with some difficulty because his legs feel like jelly, towards Kimi. The grin on his face is big, he feels his cheeks stretch wide with it and it hurts a little bit because of the burn.

The joy he feels for making it, isn’t returned by Kimi. The guy is just standing there, frowning and looking just as worried as before. Not even one tiny smile is apparent on that stoic face, but Sebastian isn’t going to let it tamper down his own triumphant feeling.

“Let’s go,” he says, still as chipper as before with Kimi following him wordlessly.

*

The moment they get out of the sea and reach the beach is glorious to Sebastian. He can’t believe they made it. He survived the big, bad sea, something he wasn’t sure could be even possible before he started swimming. But they did it and he’s so fucking happy he doesn’t have to spent the night in the cold water again.

Getting to Kimi, Seb lets himself fall into the man’s arms and he hugs him happily, his hold on the other man tight, so full of joy that they made it. He’s laughing and crying at the same time.

“We made it, Kimi. We really fucking made it. We survived the sea!”

Kimi allows the hug for a few seconds, before the man stiffens in Seb’s hold. Seb lets go of him and takes a step back to look at the other man, raising an eyebrow at Kimi’s serious face.

“Aren’t you happy?” Seb asks tentatively and then it hits him that Kimi must be worried sick about his brother. Of course he isn’t overflowing with joy right now.

“Do you realize there’s no one here? There are no people here, there’s probably no food or water. We have to survive the island now instead of the water.”

Well, that brings Seb down from his euphoric high pretty quickly. The fact that Kimi is being so rational right now annoys him greatly for a moment, but he knows that the Finn is right. He just wishes that Kimi would show a little bit of emotion, too. Even if it is an angry or sad one. Not this stoic, cold and serious demeanor. Seb doesn’t like that at all, especially because he’s such an empath himself, he usually reads people and their moods quite well, but this guy is a tough nut to crack. Seb reminds himself that Kimi is still shell shocked and grieving from the fact that they lost Rami along the way and that surely plays a big part in his negative attitude, too.

“You’re right,” Seb sighs deeply. “Let’s go and explore the island for a while.”

Seb looks up at the sky and notices that they made it just in time. The daylight is already fading a bit, the sun slowly but surely disappearing on the horizon. They will have a good hour left before it’s getting completely dark, Seb estimates.

As the older man starts walking, Seb follows him inland. It’s very dense with lots of trees and bushes - none of them with edible fruits, Seb quickly checks - and it’s hard to really walk properly. The branches are cutting into their arms and Seb curses in German when one leaves an actual cut that starts bleeding. Luckily, it’s just superficial and not too deep. Seb is still grumbling though, causing Kimi to stop and look at what’s going on. Once Kimi sees the cut, he rolls his eyes at Seb and starts digging through the bushes again.

_Wow, such a caring dude._

He’s about to say something sarcastic when Kimi suddenly stills. The other man turns to Seb and holds his finger before his mouth, indicating that he should stay still and quiet. Holding his breath, Sebastian listens to the sounds around them and then he hears a rustling in one of the nearby bushes. Suddenly, a wild boar emerges and once it sees Sebastian and Kimi, it quickly runs away.

“If there are animals living on this island, doesn’t that mean there must be freshwater as well?” Seb wonders out loud, getting excited by the prospect of finding drinkable water.

“Most likely, yes,” Kimi answers. “But let’s go back to the beach. We don’t want to be in the jungle when it’s dark.”

Seb wants to protest, but Kimi has already turned as he makes his way back to the beach. Feeling like he has no choice than to follow Kimi, Seb does so, but his heart wants to follow that boar and see where the water is hidden. The Finn is quicker than Seb as he digs his way back up to the beach and by the time he is finally caught up with him Kimi is already collecting branches that are on the beach.

“What are you doing?” Seb wonders.

“I want to make marks in the sand. Write something, like S.O.S., in case a boat gets by and we’re not around on the beach.”

That’s actually a smart idea, Seb definitely agrees with it. But he thinks finding water is their first priority and he voices his thoughts.

“I want to look for water, first,” he says and Kimi looks up at him sharply. “I mean, it’s the first thing we need to survive, right?”

“We will do it first thing in the morning, it’s getting too dark,” Kimi answers, his voice as monotonous as ever but not elaborating any further.

“I don’t agree, I am dying of thirst here, Kimi, and I want water now.”

A murderous glare is his only answer as Kimi continues to pick up branches, his arms getting fuller and fuller. He’s completely ignoring Seb, only infuriating him further. What an ass. Sebastian gets that Kimi is upset about Rami, but if they want to survive this, they need each other. And Kimi being this cold and distant is certainly not helping.

“Are you always such a jerk?” Seb can’t help but sneer, the irritation bubbling up inside of him. Kimi just quirks an eyebrow at him and goes back to ignoring Seb after. That only serves to make Seb even more angry and when he gets like this, he always starts to blabber his every thought. “It’s like you’re anti social or something. You would think you’d be a little more used to talking to other people when you’re in Formula 1 like you are. But I guess once an asshole, always an asshole.”

Oh shit, he’s said too much. And he knows it by the way Kimi snaps his head up to him, his eyes narrowing angrily at Seb. His red cheeks get even redder and Sebastian doesn’t know if it’s because of the heat of the sun or if he’s just that angry.

“You know _nothing_ about me,” Kimi growls. Oh, it’s the latter then.

“That’s because you don’t tell me anything!” Seb screams, the bottled up frustration finally let loose. “You know what, I don’t care anymore. You stay here, I’m going to look for water.”

He turns his back to Kimi and flees indignantly into the jungle behind them. Pfff, what an arrogant fool. Seb doesn’t need him, he can find the water on his own if he has to. But just as he finds the spot where the wild boar was earlier, he realizes how dark it’s actually getting. He has to squint to see anything further ahead of him and with the density of the trees and bushes there’s no way he won’t get lost...

_Fuck, Kimi was right. Again._

It’s annoying to admit, but Sebastian knows it isn’t Kimi who is the fool here. It is Seb himself. As he quickly gets back to the beach, he feels the tears rolling over his cheeks. The situation seems so utterly hopeless and he doesn’t like to fight with the one person he needs to depend on. He feels like an ass for getting so angry at Kimi, there’s a possibility that the guy lost his brother and here is Seb, screaming at him. The only thing he wants to do now is to apologize to Kimi so he rushes back, tripping over his own feet as he wipes the salty tears away.

When he gets to the beach, he sees Kimi arranging the branches in the sand, making a big letter S with it. The Finn worriedly glances towards the jungle and he seems to be taking a deep sigh of relief when he sees Seb getting out of it.

“You’re back,” Kimi says, but it doesn’t sound like he wants to rub it in that he was right, it is mostly just pleased and relieved. Seb hurries to help Kimi with making the letter O, taking some of the branches that are scattered around.

“Yes, I’m sorry, Kimi. I was an ass,” he admits, looking guiltily at Kimi, who tries to smile, but it’s more like a grimace.

“It’s ok. I could be nicer, too.”

Oh, Seb likes that, a guy who’s not too proud to reflect on his own actions. Kimi adds, “we need each other if we want to survive.”

“I agree. I promise to listen more if you promise to keep talking to me, ok?”

“Deal. Once it gets light again, we’ll immediately start our search for water, alright?” Kimi replies and his voice isn’t that monotonous anymore. It has a soothing effect on Seb and he smiles gratefully at Kimi, who returns the smile readily this time. Then they start working swiftly together to complete the large S.O.S. When they are done, Kimi tells Seb they need to find a place to sleep. After walking and looking around for a few minutes, Kimi finds a deep ditch in the sand. He points at it and smiles wryly.

“I guess this will be our home for the night,” Kimi says.

“What, why here? Isn’t it better to find a sheltered place at the edge of the jungle?”

“There are probably a lot of mosquitos. And other animals you don’t want crawling over you,” Kimi explains and Seb shivers at the thought. The ditch is relatively deep and Seb has to watch out so he doesn’t fall face first into it. He lets himself carefully slide down and watches Kimi do the same. Once down, he stands up to see how deep it actually is. It reaches his waist, so a good 90 centimeters at least.

“It will keep the mosquitos away and also shelters us against the wind,” Kimi adds as he lays down into the sand. Just like Seb, the only clothes he has are the ones on his body, a shirt and some shorts. Luckily they managed to keep their shoes until now because they very much need them in the jungle tomorrow in their search for water. With the sky now pitch black around them, the temperature has decreased dramatically and Kimi shivers a little.

Laying down next to Kimi, Seb stares at the sky for a little while. The stars are so insanely bright and it’s without a doubt the prettiest thing Seb has ever seen. The whole sky is scattered with them, making Seb wish he had paid more attention during his geography classes. He remembers a subject about the constellations, like the Great Bear, but he has no clue how to find them now.

Turning his head to Kimi, with the moonlight hitting the older man’s face softly, Seb’s heart skips a beat. This guy is like really gorgeous, especially this up close. It’s a thought that won’t do him any good now, though, so he pushes it out of his mind as quickly as it came.

Kimi shivers again and Seb’s teeth start chattering. While he’s grateful that he doesn’t have to spend another night in the water, Seb complains that he’s still cold, despite the ditch protecting them from the wind.

“We should huddle closer together,” he suggests.

“Like sharing our body heat?” Kimi clarifies.

“Yes, exactly.”

It’s so, _so_ awkward at first, with Seb shifting closer to Kimi, pressing their bodies together and they both lay there like they’re made of stone, totally unmoving. It shouldn’t be this uncomfortable, Seb reasons with himself, they are surviving for god’s sake. Everything is permitted, even if it means cuddling close to another guy to keep warm. Not that Seb minds, he’s quite used to being close with other men, but he doubts that Kimi is by the way he starts to move restlessly, obviously not knowing where to put his hands and legs.

“Stop squirming and just hold me close,” Seb whispers into the dark. He crawls himself into Kimi’s side, resting his head in the crook of the Finn’s neck and draping an arm over Kimi’s chest. And then finally, Kimi wraps his arms around him, too, gradually relaxing somewhat. The body heat helps, Seb feels it seep into his skin and he figures it’s the same for Kimi as they both stop shivering.

“I can’t believe we are really here,” Seb says quietly.

Kimi nods, agreeing as he says, “yeah, as if it’s not really happening.”

They haven’t really talked about Kimi’s brother yet and Seb is afraid to ask. But he can’t keep ignoring the subject and he wants Kimi to know that if he wants to talk, he can, with Seb.

“How are you doing, Kimi?”

Kimi stiffens and grunts, a signal for Seb not to continue with his questions. But as with a lot of things, Seb doesn’t listen to the signs. He wants to be there for Kimi and he can only do that if the man starts talking to him.

“I mean, it must be hard for you to be here without Rami?”

Feeling his own throat close up as he asks the question, he can only imagine how Kimi must feel. “Tell me, please?” he adds, whispering.

He can hear Kimi swallow and scrape his throat before he starts to talk, in soft tones. “I miss him,” he admits, brokenly. “And it drives me crazy that I don’t know where he is right now and if he’s still alive.”

“Let’s not lose hope,” Seb tries to ease the other man’s mind. “Rami is strong. We must have faith that he either made it back to the others or that he’s somewhere on this island, too.”

“Thanks, Sebastian,” Kimi says in a small voice.

“Will you tell me about him?”

Seb looks up at Kimi to see his face and he’s glad that Kimi is smiling at him. It’s a tearful one, but still a smile. He is clearly appreciating Sebastian’s effort here and the German is glad for it.

“Not now, ok?” Kimi answers gently. “I don’t think I...”

He trails off and Seb squeezes his upper arm in understanding.

“It’s ok. If you do want to talk about it, just let me know.” He feels Kimi nod gratefully, and he continues to speak, “we can talk about something else. How about... Formula 1?”

Snorting, Kimi raises an amused eyebrow at him. “What about it?”

“I’m a massive fan of F1, Kimi, I have a thousand questions,” Seb chuckles.

“Why didn’t you tell me before that you knew who I was?” Kimi asks him, genuine curiosity on his face.

“Well,” Seb starts, wondering how to say this nicely. “Uhm. You didn’t seem like you wanted the attention. You’re not exactly approachable, you know?”

Kimi huffs, but he doesn’t seem offended at all. “I know,” he simply says. “It’s a good thing.”

“And why is that?”

“Keeps people away from me,” Kimi grins. It’s so shockingly different from the stoic face he puts on, that every time Kimi grins Seb feels his belly doing flip flops at the dramatic change. If Seb isn’t careful, Kimi’s grin can quickly get addicting and he’ll do anything to coax it out of him.

“You really don’t like people much, do you?”

“I like people just fine. Just don’t like the forced interviews.”

“And the fans annoy you, too.”

Kimi frowns at that. “What makes you think that?”

Oh boy. Well, Kimi asked, so Seb will give him his honest answer. He doubts Kimi remembers him, but he’s curious how the man will react to his story.

“I experienced it first hand,” he says, gauging Kimi’s face. The frown deepens and he gestures for Seb to carry on. “I was at the German Grand Prix last year. And I asked for your autograph, and I know you heard me ask, because you looked right at me as I did so. But you just ignored me and walked away as if I didn’t exist.”

Kimi is just silently listening, his face this unreadable mask again. “Seems to me like you were just a groupie,” Kimi finally says, dead pan but a tiny smirk is giving him away.

Seb squeals horrified and he slaps Kimi on his arm. “I am not a groupie!”

“I know,” Kimi laughs, his eyes sparkling. And Seb can not believe it. Here he is on a desert island with no prospect of getting saved anytime soon and he’s laughing with the world champion of Formula 1? It’s very welcome, though, the laughter is good for morale. And it’s nice to know that Kimi lets his guard down enough around Seb now that he is allowing this silly banter.

“You’re right, I’m not really good with the fans,” Kimi admits when they’ve stopped laughing.

“How come?” Seb wants to know. Now that Kimi is more himself - or so Seb thinks - he seems like a nice enough guy.

“I’m just... I don’t know,” Kimi struggles to explain himself. “It’s not that I mind that strangers know about my life, but sometimes people just approach me like I know them and they don't really respect my personal space, so I just don't really encourage it, you know?"

That sounds reasonable and actually makes a lot of sense. Sebastian can only imagine what it’d be like with the whole world wanting a piece of you. It would suffocate him as well and Seb is sure if it were him, he wouldn’t want to share much about his personal life.

“And when it’s the day of the race, I’m in my own world, in a concentration mode. Sometimes I do the autographs, but sometimes I just don’t want to. I know it’s not fair to the fans, though. I feel bad sometimes, but well. Can’t be helped,” Kimi shrugs and it’s the most Seb ever heard him speak at once.

Just as Seb is about to ask more about Formula 1, Kimi begins to yawn loudly. And it’s so true, when someone starts yawning it’s contagious because Sebastian starts to do the same thing. Suddenly, he feels incredibly exhausted now that the adrenaline of surviving the sea has finally started to wear down. His eyes are droopy and heavy and he wants nothing more than to rest. The sand isn’t the most pleasant surface to lay down on but he’s got Kimi’s warm body to snuggle up to and it’s as comfortable as it’s going to get.

“Gute Nacht,” he whispers to Kimi and just before he drifts off he hears Kimi mumble back, “good night.”

*

It has been a restless night, Seb was woken up with every foreign sound and of course, the sand wasn’t comfortable at all. The ache from swimming for eight hours straight has also finally settled into his bones and muscles and he feels sore all over. Even though every move he made during the night was filled with pain, he thankfully did manage to get some sleep. Especially the last three hours he had been resting well and deep. And now, the dawn is breaking, the sunlight shining on his closed eyelids and Seb feels himself stir awake. He had rolled onto his side somewhere during the night and he feels another body pressed against him from behind, an arm draped tightly around his chest.

Biting his lip, Seb realizes said body is Kimi. ‘Of course it’s Kimi, who else could it be?’ he thinks with a smile. He’s incredibly thirsty now though, so he wants to get up and start the search for the freshwater. Carefully, he tries to wiggle out of Kimi’s grip but the man grumbles, holding him even tighter. Something hard pokes Seb’s butt when Kimi presses himself closer to Seb and the German blushes furiously as he realizes what it is.

Being a guy, Seb knows it’s completely normal to have a morning erection, so he doesn’t blame Kimi for it and he acknowledges - although with regret - that it’s (probably) not because of Seb. Still, it sends a shiver through him and he wishes that they were in different circumstances. He would have loved to find out where this could have taken them if they hadn’t been on this godforsaken deserted island. Gently, he takes the hand Kimi had wrapped around him and pushes his arm away. Again, Kimi only crowds in even closer, grinding against Seb and moaning softly.

_Oh shit._

Seb has to stop this now or else he’ll end up with a hard on, too, and he really doesn’t want that. It would literally only be uncomfortable to do anything sexual on this island. They are dirty, sand is in about every pore, they sweat, they stink, their clothes are ruined... no, sex is the farthest thing from Seb’s mind. And he has no doubts Kimi is thinking the same. The poor guy just needs to wake up and once he does, surely he’ll be back to usual as soon as he realizes where he is. And with whom.

“Kimi,” Seb softly calls his name, but the other man doesn’t react to it. He just mumbles and cuddles Seb against him more. God, it’s so sweet and torturous at the same time. Seb wishes he could allow himself the luxury to let Kimi continue this, but he can’t. Again, he calls Kimi’s name, this time a little louder and he finally wakes up.

It takes a few seconds before Kimi is fully conscious enough to realize what exactly he’s doing and what’s happening to his body. But once he does, he instantly lets go of Seb like he got burned. Quickly standing up, although groaning with pain from his sore muscles, Seb acts as if he doesn’t know what’s going on, deciding to take mercy on the other man as he just ignores the situation.

“Morning, Kimi,” he says cheerfully as he turns to look at Kimi who is still lying down. The sight of him rubbing his eyes like a sleepy little kid is adorable and so is the embarrassed flush on his face when he finally looks up at Seb. “Did you get some sleep?”

“Obviously,” Kimi answers, still groggy from sleep. As Kimi stands up, he groans, feeling the ache in his body, too. “Fuck, everything hurts.”

“Yeah, same here,” Seb says, “the sooner we move, the better it will be. Hopefully.”

Kimi raises an eyebrow at him and looks as skeptical as ever. Seb shoots him a quick grin and tells him to get a move on. “We need to find that water.”

Agreeing, Kimi nods and says, “I think I saw some stuff that washed ashore yesterday. We were busy making the S.O.S. sign so I didn’t take a good look, but I think I saw some bottles that could be useful for when we find water.”

Perking up at that, Seb sets to start walking. “Let’s go then.”

Sure enough, they find bottles, not all are intact but some still look relatively good and could be useful. Kimi also finds part of a fishing net, much to his own delight. Having not seen him this enthusiastic before, Seb smiles when he sees the relieved and almost joyful look on the other man’s face.

“We could try fishing later today,” Kimi suggests with a hopeful look on his face.

“Sure, absolutely,” Seb replies, but he’s not too sure if he’s honest. “We don’t have any way of making fire, though. Can we eat the fish raw?”

“I think we can. Fish in salty seawater are mostly free of parasites or other things that make you sick. But I guess we’ll find out sure enough once we’ve tried it.”

That’s not really a soothing thought, but Kimi seems to know a lot about this subject, so Seb decides to trust his judgment. “How do you know all these things?”

“I used to fish a lot when I was little. Until I really got into racing, I used to fish every other weekend. But now I’m just too busy.” Kimi looks a little sad as he answers Seb’s question.

“You miss it?”

“Yeah. Sometimes I miss my old life. But then, I love racing too. Can’t have everything in life, can we?” he simply says as continues to pick up stuff that could be useful. Kimi then changes the subject. “We should try to make a camp where we will stay during the day, to hide from the sun.”

That’s probably a good idea, so Seb nods. They bring everything they’ve found to a shadowed but wide enough place at the edge of where the jungle begins. It’s the perfect place because it hides them from the burning of the sun and they have a good vision over the sea. If in any case a boat suddenly shows up, they will undoubtedly see it.

Seb really wants to go look for water now. He’s getting desperate if he’s honest and to not know whether there is water here or not is killing him. Voicing his thoughts to Kimi, the other man agrees readily with him this time. But Sebastian needs to discuss with Kimi what they‘ll do if they don’t find water.

“Kimi... if we don’t find water, we might need to...” he trails off, not knowing how to say this. It’s a disgusting thing, but if it will save them for a few days, he’s willing to do everything. Luckily, Kimi seems to understand what he’s trying to say as he winces and shoots Seb a sympathetic smile.

“I know, but if we don’t find water, we will have no other choice, Sebastian.”

Nodding dejectedly, Seb hopes it won’t have to come to that. And then another thing that had busied his mind while he couldn’t sleep, pops into his head again.

“Is it wise if we both search for water? Because I think it’s better if one of us starts the search and the other stays here, in case there’s a boat coming by.”

The thought of them both in the jungle while a potential saving boat comes by is just unacceptable to Seb. Again, Kimi is instantly agreeing with him and Seb is glad that they are finally on the same page now.

“I will stay here and try to make some sort of a camp and you go find the water?” Kimi suggests and Seb nods. It’s probably the best way to divide the tasks. By the looks of it, Kimi has more experience with this than Seb does. And besides, Seb can’t concentrate on anything other than water, so he’d be useless if he stayed here.

“Try not to go too far, ok?” Kimi urges him worriedly.

Seb feels warm all over, Kimi looking out for him and basically telling him to be careful and stay safe is touching.

“Ok, Kimi,” he says softly. “I’ll be going then. See you later, hopefully with water.”

As Kimi sets to working on the pieces of wood they found on the beach, Seb disappears into the jungle, two bottles with him. He knows a little better how to avoid the sharp branches now, having learned from yesterday and he tries to memorize where he’s been, so he’ll find his way back when he needs to. He also looks around him carefully, in the hopes to find a tree that grows something edible, but so far, no luck.

Suddenly, he jumps about a mile high as he gets startled by a wild boar that rushes from the bushes. His heart is in his throat, but this is just the opportunity he was looking for as he follows the general path the boar has taken before him. Little cuts and scratches are left on the skin of his arms and legs, but Sebastian doesn’t even feel it, he just continues until he sees a small water trail leading downwards. Not wanting to hope, Seb starts to follow the trail, his heart beating excitedly.

_Please, please, please._

Then, sunlight hits him suddenly brightly in the face, blinding him momentarily. Green dots with red edges dance across his vision, making him squeeze his eyes shut for a moment, but of course that only makes it worse. Blinking his eyes open slowly, Sebastian gets a hand above his eyes to shelter them from the sun and what he sees then takes his breath away.

Right in front him is a big natural well of water, sparkling and inviting him to drink. Seb could cry with how relieved and happy he is that he’s finally found water. Feeling his mouth literally watering, he moves closer and the boar that is drinking, flees away. The fact that an animal is drinking from it, must mean the quality is good enough for humans too, he figures. Honestly, he doesn’t care right now, he’s too desperate to reason if it’s safe enough or not. He opens the first water bottle quickly and fills it halfway through, he can’t even wait to fill it completely, he’s too impatient and desperate as his trembling hands bring the bottle to his mouth. He gets his lips around the bottleneck and starts to down everything in one go. Then he fills it again and drinks and drinks, closing his eyes and reveling in the feeling of his body finally getting what it needs.

When he has enough, he wants only one thing and that is bringing Kimi water, too, as soon as possible. He swiftly fills the two bottles and gets back the way he got here. Thinking it would be harder to remember, Seb is surprised how well he finds his way back. Luckily he didn’t drift off too far away from the beach. He gets out of the jungle at another point as where he started though and it disorients him a little as he looks around for Kimi. Spotting him to his right, not too far away, he runs towards him, eager to give Kimi the water.

He starts to yell Kimi’s name loudly and Seb almost trips over his own feet in his enthusiasm. Kimi looks up at him, hope blooming in his eyes as he notices what Seb is carrying in his arms.

“Did you find water?” Kimi asks, in total disbelief. His eyes shine gratefully at Seb, like he’s getting emotional, and Seb knows exactly how he feels.

“Yes Kimi! And it’s delicious! Here, have as much as you want,” Seb hands him both of the bottles and Kimi takes them eagerly. Then he frowns as he opens the first bottle, keeping the other under his arm.

“What about you?”

“I’m good, I already drank. Come on, drink!”

And Kimi does so, greedily. He drinks one bottle in one go, not even stopping to take a breath, just like Seb did. Moving on to the other bottle, Seb watches Kimi and he is fascinated by the other man’s Adam’s apple as it moves up and down while Kimi drinks. Tearing his gaze away from the mesmerizing sight, Seb suddenly notices what Kimi has done in the time Seb was away. With the wood, he’s made some sort of tent, draping it with leaves and in the tent are the things stored that they found on the beach, like the fishing net, other pieces of wood and more bottles.

“Wow, Kimi,” Seb whispers, in total awe. This man is like Robinson Crusoe himself, he builds things from scratch and knows exactly what to do to survive. God, Seb would be totally lost without him here and he thanks his lucky stars that he ended up with Kimi.

Kimi quirks an eyebrow, obviously pleased by the way Seb is impressed with what he’s created. Letting his gaze flicker over Kimi’s face, Seb thinks he looks a lot better than before now that he’s had some fresh water. The worry lines seem to have lessened and his eyes are clearer, almost sparkling as he looks back at Seb.

“That is great, that you have found the water. Good job, Seb,” Kimi tells him and Seb feels a little weak with how Kimi has shortened his name, just like all of his friends and family do, too. The praise makes him shy though and he quickly changes the subject.

“I’ll go back in a minute to get us more water for the rest of the day.” That way they will have enough until tomorrow morning. Kimi nods and starts to move again, collecting leaves and other soft materials from the ground.

“I’m going to try and make our ditch a bit more comfortable,” Kimi grins. “Don’t know if this will help, but it’s worth a try.”

And so they agree on what to do for the rest of the morning, Seb getting more water and exploring the jungle for what more it may have to offer and Kimi setting up two camps, one for the day and one for the night. If that isn’t teamwork, Seb doesn’t know what is.

*

When noon comes around, Kimi decides it’s time to rest a bit. They need to spare their energy, especially since they’ve not eaten anything for 48 hours now. Seb just came back from filling all the six bottles with water and he’s brought Kimi more branches and big leaves to work with. He’s planning to shelter the ditch even more by laying the branches and wood on top of it.

Kimi is leaning against a tree next to the tent, as if he’s lounging in the shadow. The sharp blue eyes are hidden by closed eyelids and it gives Sebastian the chance to study his face without being caught. Kimi really has a good face, though. It’s all sharp angles but soft cheeks, a lovely pointy nose and thin but soft looking lips. And when he smiles, the cutest laugh lines appear on the sides of his mouth. Seb really likes and enjoys looking at that face...

_Uh-oh... This sounds like a stupid fucking crush._

The last thing he needs on this island is a crush on a famous racing driver, especially one that is most likely very much straight. Seb has seen the pictures of Kimi partying hard, surrounded by the most beautiful women in the tabloids. To think Kimi would ever be interested in Seb is just ridiculous. The boner he felt against his ass this morning was just-

His thoughts are interrupted when Kimi suddenly opens his eyes and catches Sebastian staring intently. A fine flush spreads over Kimi’s neck and Seb feels the same happening to him, embarrassed of being caught. Shyly averting his eyes, Seb thinks his feelings must be written all over his face, so he tries to school it more neutrally. When he finally finds the courage to look up at Kimi again, he finds the man staring just as intensely at him. There’s no way of knowing what Kimi is thinking, though, but at least he’s not disgusted by Seb openly admiring him earlier.

“What was the last thing you ate?” Seb asks, trying to start a conversation to steer away from this awkward moment.

Kimi thinks for a moment. “I shared a salmon sandwich with Rami.” A sad look crosses the man’s face as he mentions his brother’s name. Seb feels for him so much, it must be total torture not knowing what happened to a loved one. He really hopes Rami is ok, he’s a good man and he doesn’t deserve it if something terrible happened to him. Smiling sympathetically at Kimi, Sebastian nods sadly and waits for Kimi to say more, but nothing comes. He wants to ask about Rami and how Kimi is feeling, but he figures Kimi will start to talk about it if and when he needs to. Pressing him for it won’t help, Kimi is the type who will do it on his own terms. And Sebastian respects that.

“I had a full English breakfast in my hotel before we boarded the boat,” Seb says, chuckling. “I didn’t know then that I’d be throwing it up for the rest of the day.”

It cracks a smile on Kimi’s face as well. “Yeah, you were pretty sick.”

They fall into a comfortable silence again and Seb really likes that about them. There is no need for constant talking, they can just be silent in a relaxed atmosphere. It’s weird how quickly Sebastian felt comfortable around a guy he’s known for barely 48 hours.

After some time, Kimi stands up and offers his hand to Seb to pull him to his feet. Seb takes it as he looks up questioningly at Kimi.

“We should try that fishing now,” Kimi suggests.

“Yeah, good idea. I’m hungry, especially after talking about food,” Seb agrees.

Kimi gets the fishing net and together they search for a good place to fish. As with anything since they’ve been on this island, Seb is amazed by Kimi’s ability and knowledge to do the right thing every time they try something. The Finn knows exactly where to look for the best place to try and catch a fish.

They find a spot near the rocks and they have to be very careful not to cut their feet and legs to the sharp edges of them. The water is incredibly clear here and Sebastian stares around them in awe. He didn’t see it before because the place represents a nightmare coming true, but it really is beautiful here.

Kimi hands him a side of the net and tells him to hold both of the edges and the Finn does the same with the other side. Catching a fish requires a lot of actual working together and Seb is not surprised to see that it goes very well between them. In no time they have caught their first fish and Kimi stares at it proudly.

“Now what?” Seb asks, frowning at the trashing fish caught in the net.

“Now we kill it.”

Feeling his face contort in disgust, Seb looks at Kimi, unsure.

“Don’t worry, I will do it,” Kimi assures him.

They take the net back to their camp in the shadows. Kimi sits down on his hunches and asks Seb for a bottle of water and some flat piece of wood. Getting what he needs from the tent, Kimi then asks for Seb to clean the wood as well as he can so he can prepare the fish on a somewhat clean surface. Seb goes to work, squirming a little as he thinks of how Kimi will have to kill the fish and dissect it.

Figuring he must look as uncomfortable as he feels, Seb notices Kimi watching him, clearly a bit amused. As he hands over the cleaned wood to Kimi, the other man tells him to take a break if he needs it.

“I’ll tell you when you can come back, ok? Don’t want you puking again.”

Seb smiles at that. “There’s nothing in there to puke up, but thanks for the advice. I think I’ll stay here, though. But I am not going to look.”

He pulls a face and he hears Kimi laugh softly at him. “Ok. Don’t want to hear you complain, I warned you.”

Grabbing the squirming fish from the net, Kimi holds it tightly and Seb quickly looks the other way as Kimi kills it quickly by slamming it hard on the wood. The sound is sickening, making Seb cringe and shudder, glad that he didn’t have to see it.

“Is it... is it dead?” he asks, tentatively.

Kimi hums in reply and Seb turns back to him to see him dissecting the fish with his bare hands. It’s a very unpleasant sight but Seb is intrigued as well.

“You did this before, didn’t you?”

Nodding, Kimi continues to work on the fish. “I told you, I used to fish a lot back in Finland. My father taught me how to kill a fish with my bare hands.”

Not being able to look away, Seb keeps watching as Kimi removes the skin swiftly. His eyes shift from Kimi’s hand to his face and he detects a small smile on it.

“What is so amusing?” he asks, curious.

“My father joked that I should learn how to do this, in case I ever got stuck on a deserted island...” Kimi chuckles for real now. Seb feels his heart skipping a few beats at Kimi’s incredibly fond look as he thinks of his dad. He really likes how Kimi keeps sharing these little details with him. The Finn may act tough, but he’s actually a really soft guy.

“You are really like... like...” Seb struggles to find a word for how to describe Kimi.

“Like what?” Kimi says absentmindedly as he tries to remove the bones. When he finally succeeds, a small grin forms on those lips and Seb thinks it’s the loveliest sight he’s seen in a while.

All he can think about is food, though. Oh, how he would like a burger. Or a milkshake. He’s longing for some real taste and something to chew on, and put his jaw to work again. Like chocolate. And now that he’s thinking about food, Seb suddenly knows what he wants to compare Kimi to.

“You are like lava cake!” he says excitedly, startling Kimi in the process who seemed to have forgotten about the conversation already.

“Lava cake?” The Finn stares back at him skeptically, probably thinking Seb lost it for real this time.

“Yes, you’re all hard on the outside, but soft and gooey on the inside,” Seb grins, loving the embarrassed look Kimi gets on his face. The older man scowls at first, but Seb doesn’t miss the shy grin on his face as he turns away from Seb to tend to the fish again.

A little while later, Kimi cleans the fish with water to get rid of all the gory guts and sand until all that is left is the smooth meat of the fish. It’s not much, but it’s something and they can always catch another one before dark settles in. It’s only just after noon, though, so they’ll have enough time left. Kimi hands Seb his part of the fish and he takes it with an apprehensive hand.

Kimi is anything but apprehensive, though, he takes a bite and actually hums as if it’s the best thing he’s ever eaten. Not knowing if that is really the case or if Kimi is trying to get him to eat too, Seb doesn’t know, but it works anyway because he finally takes a small bite. He’s not the biggest fan of fish, especially not raw, but it’s something edible and it will give him the much needed calories and energy, so he just chews and tries not to think too much. Every now and then, he catches Kimi glancing at him, obviously checking if Seb is eating well and it warms his heart.

As they keep stealing glances at each other, Seb can’t help but notice that even though Kimi is just as badly sunburned as he is and his clothes look a mess, he still looks very attractive. And that is precisely the thought he doesn’t want to have so he bans it from his mind as quickly as it came.

*

If there’s one thing Seb is glad for, it is that he bought a waterproof watch last year. It had cost him a fortune, but it has proven to be worth every single euro he spent on it. He didn’t even know it was a waterproof one when he bought it, he just really liked the design of the sleek, dark green watch and only found out later that it was water resistant, too. Seb is incredibly grateful that he can still check the time whenever he wants to. It gives him some sense of normalcy, like he’s still connected with the real world somehow.

The end of the afternoon is nearing and Seb and Kimi have agreed to do two more things before it gets dark. Their experience from the night before is that once it gets dark, you can barely see anything anymore. It’s important that they are going to be in the ditch in time so they make quick work on catching the second fish of the day and eating it. This time, while they eat, Kimi starts up a conversation.

“What kind of job do you have?”

Seb is surprised that Kimi is showing interest in his private life, but he likes that he is asking questions.

“I’m not really working yet. I mean, I do have a side job in a garage to pay for my studies, but it’s not really a job, more like a hobby that gets me paid,” Seb grins sheepishly, rubbing his chin as he does so. The stubble is already growing and he wonders what he’ll look like after a week of not shaving.

“You’re still studying?” Kimi asks, surprised.

“Yeah, I’m only 22,” Seb answers. “I’m in my third year of mechanical engineering.”

Kimi looks genuinely impressed with that information and Sebastian feels himself glow with it.

“Is that why you like Formula 1 so much?” Kimi inquires.

“Partly. I’ve always had an interest in anything remotely technical,” Seb explains. “It started with my dad taking me to kart when I was little. And after that, I wanted to know how that engine worked. The older I got, the stronger the interest got.”

Kimi is listening intently to him, soaking up every word.

“My friends in school all wanted to be Michael Schumacher when they were little, but I wanted to be Michael’s engineer,” he continues and Kimi chuckles.

“I’ll put in a good word for you at Ferrari when you have finished your study,” Kimi offers, grinning at him. He looks like he’s joking, but there’s a serious undertone to what he said and Seb grins back, his heart melting at the words.

“I would appreciate that, Kimi,” he laughs.

It’s so bittersweet to be talking about this as if it will really happen. As if they still have a future. There have been moments today where Sebastian forgot for a minute about their precarious situation, but more often than not reality keeps crashing down on him and he knows they are a long way from home and their normal lives.

His sudden sombre mood isn’t going unnoticed by Kimi, who looks concerned at him.

“Ok?” the other man asks Seb gently.

Shrugging, Seb lets out a deep sigh as he swirls patterns in the sand with a twig.

“It just... it seems so hopeless. Will we ever get off this island?”

Kimi doesn’t immediately answer him. What is he supposed to say, anyway? They’re quiet for a while, both lost in their own thoughts, before Kimi breaks the silence, making Seb look up at the sound of his voice.

“They must be looking for us,” Kimi says. “I am sure they will find us soon.”

Kimi is saying it with so much conviction, that Sebastian almost starts to believe it. He is probably right, their family and the travel agency have probably raised the alarm when they didn’t hear from them after the first day. Though the sea is a seemingly endless place, Seb figures they are lucky they are still relatively close to Bali after only having been on their way for not even a day when their boat started sinking. Wow, Kimi’s words really helped him have some renewed hope.

“Thank you.” Sebastian smiles gratefully at him and pats Kimi’s knee as he hauls himself up on his feet.

“I’m gonna try and wash myself in the sea. I feel like there’s sand everywhere,” Seb complains.

Kimi nods at him and stands up as well. “Yeah, I could use a washing, too.”

Then, without preamble and any shame, Seb sheds all of his clothes, standing naked in front of Kimi before the other man can do so much as blink or avert his eyes. He grins cheekily as he turns and starts to run to the sea, looking over his shoulder at Kimi and challenging him to do the same. The other man is still looking a bit stunned as he watches Seb darting away, but after a second or two he follows Seb’s example and runs after him.

Seb is already waist deep in the water by the time Kimi gets there. He knows he’s staring, but he can’t help it, Kimi’s body is amazing. It’s well toned but not overly muscled, which is exactly the body type that Seb loves. There’s barely any hair on his chest, arms or legs and Seb wonders if Kimi waxes or if his body just doesn’t grow that much hair. Compared to his own body - he’s a near bear with hair literally everywhere - Kimi is smooth all over and the contrast is beautiful.

Finally tearing his gaze away from that gorgeous body, he looks up and finds Kimi staring back as he shoots Seb a shy smile. Seb flushes as he realizes he’s been caught totally checking Kimi out and he lets himself disappear under water for a few seconds to hide his embarrassment and to clear his mind a little. When he gets back up for air, Kimi is acting as if nothing happened, scrubbing the sand from his skin and also dipping his head and hair into the water to wash it as good as he can.

Being in the sea after a whole day of hard work and being in the sun is very refreshing and Seb thinks they should do this more often during the day... Just to get rid of the sand and it will provide an escape from the burning sun.

Their clothes are full of sand and could use some refreshment, too, so Seb gets out of the water and hobbles over to where they had shed their clothes. When he returns with his arms full, he catches Kimi ogling him this time as his eyes travel all over Seb’s body while he bites his lip. Seb hides his smirk into a shirt, almost giddy with it.

Kimi rips his gaze away when Seb tosses his clothes to him, so he can wash his own and Kimi catches them effortlessly. They work on their clothes side by side in comfortable silence, occasionally looking up and smiling at each other.

After they’re done, Seb hangs their clothes in a tree to dry, making sure it’s in the sun so it dries quickly. They have an hour left before it gets dark, so Seb hopes their clothes dry in time. Sleeping with wet clothes is not something he looks forward to. He lets his body dry to the sun as much as possible, before he sits down with Kimi, both still stark naked, but it doesn’t faze them anymore. It’s peaceful and quiet and Seb’s mind is floating fuzzily as he basks in the warmth of the sunlight.

Sometimes he feels Kimi’s eyes burning on his figure, but it doesn’t bother him, he just lets Kimi look all he wants. In fact, it’s making him all tingly inside and if the circumstances were any different, he’s sure he would have already tried something with Kimi. Or at least asked him out for a drink or something. After he figured out if Kimi was into guys, too, of course. But judging by the lingering looks he gives Seb, he is pretty sure Kimi is. Seb knows those kinds of looks all too well.

Oh god, he’s not going to fall in love with this guy, is he? It is literally the most inconvenient time ever.

*

The night is slowly falling over the island and Seb is exhausted as he puts on his clothes again, happy that they’re completely dry. He and Kimi retreat to their ditch, Seb already jumping in and nestling in the leaves and other soft material that Kimi had brought in during the day. It’s still not the most comfortable but Seb has to admit that it’s better than what it was before.

Kimi is not following him yet and Seb looks up to see him stalling at the edge of the ditch, looking very reluctant and unsure of himself. He raises an eyebrow at Kimi, beckoning him to get in the ditch and Kimi finally does so. He settles in next to Seb, but he’s very obvious in making sure there’s a distance between them, even though the fool is starting to shiver when the air is getting colder now that the sun is gone. Seb doesn’t understand, he thought they had bonded enough today for there to be enough trust and no more awkwardness between them?

Then it hits him. Kimi is probably remembering his body’s reaction from this morning and is worried that it will happen again.

_Oh Kimi..._

Seb turns to the other man and looks into Kimi’s reserved eyes.

“You know I’m a guy, too, right? These things happen.” Kimi flinches but he nods embarrassed, looking away from Seb. “Hey, really. It’s ok, Kimi, please don’t worry about it.”

Not waiting for a response, Seb is the one that cuddles close to Kimi, tangling their limbs together and making sure they can share as much body heat as possible. Kimi allows it to happen with a small smile, looking bashful but content, slowly relaxing.

The last thought Sebastian has before he falls into a deep slumber is that he’s an absolutely lost cause, because he’s falling for Kimi. And falling very hard.

This will only end up in heartbreak, he’s sure of it.

*

Somewhere during the night, Seb startles awake, ripping himself away from Kimi as he sits up, sweating and shaken. He’s breathing hard and he feels tears stream down his face. He doesn’t remember what exactly he’d been dreaming, but he’s trembling with the feel of intense loss and homesickness. All he wants is to go home, be safe in his mother’s arms and hear his father’s reassuring words. He’s trying to control his sobs so he doesn’t wake Kimi, but it’s futile, because Kimi is already stirring.

“Sebastian?” Kimi calls groggily, not fully awake yet.

When Kimi realizes Seb isn’t replying and is crying instead, he’s at his side in a flash.

“Oh Seb,” he whispers, pulling him into his arms and comforting him with the softest hug Seb has ever received. He doesn’t have to explain anything to Kimi, the other man knows exactly why Seb is so incredibly sad. It’s a connection between them that Seb has never felt before with anyone else. It’s special, he realizes as he sniffles and gets snot all over Kimi’s shirt. He giggles through his tears at the thought, slowly pulling away from Kimi.

“Sorry,” he garbles, still shaking with the aftershocks of his crying.

“It’s ok,” Kimi says gently. “I want to go home, too.”

“I just... I miss them so much.” Seb feels the tears forming again, slowly rolling down his cheeks. Kimi nods solemnly, probably going through the exact same thing. And he’s also having the added worry for his brother on top of it.

_What a fucking shit situation._

“Tell me about your family,” Kimi encourages him. “Do you have siblings?”

God, Seb loves Kimi for doing this, giving up his sleep to listen. It’s really sweet and he can see that Kimi’s interest is genuine. He tells Kimi about his little brother Fabian and his sisters and how much he used to fight with them, but how he’d trade anything in the world to have that back right now. Kimi nods, understanding him all too well. Kimi lets Seb just talk and talk, ramble on until he feels his eyes getting drowsy and he feels calm enough to try to sleep again. This time, a small smile tugs on his lips as Kimi spoons him from behind, holding him close as he breathes softly into Seb’s ear.

*

The rest of the night is peaceful and uneventful, both of them sleeping soundly. It’s like they’re used to all the sounds now and are comfortable enough with each other to let their guards down. And of course, Kimi’s improvements to the ditch helped, too.

This time, however, it’s Seb who wakes up with an erection that he feels tenting his boxers and shorts. Luckily, he’s faced away from Kimi and he suddenly gets even more why Kimi was so embarrassed, because damn, he’d have been horrified if Kimi had to feel that against him.

Managing to slip out of Kimi’s hold on him unnoticed, Seb quietly gets out of the ditch, letting Kimi sleep. But as he turns to check if he really didn’t wake the Finn up, he sees two icy blue eyes staring at him and they widen when they see Seb’s tented front.

“Don’t start thinking things,” Seb says, joking. Because yes, he wants the ground to swallow him up, but he’d rather make a joke out of it to avoid making this awkward again.

Kimi sits up, rubbing his neck in an endearing manner and mumbles, “I’m not thinking anything.”

“Good,” Seb says cheerfully, feeling his hard on finally wilting and going down. It’s easier to continue the teasing now. “I mean, you’re not bad looking, of course. But to say that you’re a _kaunis mies_... I’m not so sure.”

Sebastian enjoys the perplexed look on Kimi’s face a little too much. The man starts gaping at him, obviously completely stunned by Seb’s Finnish and a very fine flush is starting to spread on his face and neck. It’s so lovely and Seb feels his heart pick up at the sight.

“How...?” Kimi starts, but sleep is still clearly making him drowsy, so he doesn’t finish his sentence.

“I had a Finnish boyfriend once,” Seb says and only then realizes what he’s revealing about himself. Not that he’s ashamed of who he is, but it’s always a bit nerve wrecking every time he comes out to someone. Plus, he’s stuck here with Kimi, so it’d be terrible if the other man reacts badly. Thankfully, Kimi just raises an eyebrow and yes, he looks surprised but not disgusted. He actually looks more surprised that Seb has had a _Finnish_ boyfriend than the fact that it was a boyfriend.

“A Finnish boyfriend, hmmm? What else did he teach you?”

Seb lets out a relieved breath at Kimi’s amused answer and giggles as he lists all the bad Finnish words he remembers. When they finally reach their second camp, Kimi has taught him some new ones.

*

They start their morning with Seb getting fresh water and Kimi trying to catch a fish on his own. When Seb gets back, Kimi has clearly succeeded as he’s already working on the fish. He hands Seb his part and then they eat.

After they are done, Seb suggests to wash in the sea again, telling Kimi the thoughts he had yesterday about taking more baths during the day to escape the heat of the sun and to get rid of the sand plastered on their bodies. Kimi agrees readily, already taking off his clothes. Seb follows him eagerly. They are floating in the sea, side by side, both with their eyes closed.

“Hey Kimi,” Seb interrupts their companionable silence. Kimi grunts in answer. “How was it to be crowned the world champion last season? It was so close with you, Lewis and Fernando. Must have been nerve wrecking.”

Giving another grunt in answer, Seb thinks for a moment that’s all Kimi is gonna ‘say’ about it, but after a few seconds the Finn finally answers.

“It was. I’m happy I won.”

Seb smiles. Kimi is a man of keeping it simple and short, though Seb wishes he would elaborate on it a little bit more.

“It must have been an amazing feeling, in front of all those people in the crowd,” he says.

“Yeah, it was, I rememb-“

“Kimi!” Seb suddenly screams as he jumps up in the sea, startling Kimi who looks a bit frightened at Seb’s outburst.

“A boat!” Sebastian screams. He can’t believe it, there’s really a boat, but it’s far away and Seb doubts the people on it can see them. But he still jumps up and down, getting back to the beach as he does so. “Look Kimi, a boat! Oh my god!”

Kimi follows him and starts to wave wildly as well. They scream and make as much noise as possible, trying to make themselves visible by waving with their clothes. But the boat makes no move to turn their way and slowly but surely it disappears out of sight.

“No! No, no, no!” Seb yells desperately. The despair and agony of the boat being gone is too overwhelming as he collapses to the ground. He doesn’t cry, he can’t. He just feels very empty and Kimi looks like he’s in the same state, staring unseeingly at the horizon. The disappointment is absolutely crushing. Seb isn’t even sure you can call it disappointing... there’s no word for how to describe what he’s feeling right now.

“Could be worse,” Kimi mumbles under his breath, but Sebastian hears it and he snaps his head up. With irritation and disbelief bubbling up inside of him, he can’t help but snap at the other man.

“How the hell could this possibly be any worse?!”

Kimi looks down at him, his face unreadable and Sebastian wonders what’s going on in that head of his.

“We have enough water and fish here to survive for a while. I’m sure they will come for us eventually,” Kimi reasons. Seb wants to argue, say that he’s overly positive and should start to be realistic, but Kimi is cutting him off before he can even start. “People have reported us missing now. We are missed by the people we love. I’m sure they are looking for us. And they’re going to find us.”

The need to fight and argue disappears just as quickly as it came, because Kimi’s words are touching something deep inside of Sebastian. God, he’s right. Seb shouldn’t be losing hope, he should keep fighting, keep going until one day they’re going to be saved.

Kimi looks out over the sea again and Seb realizes he’s looking hopeful, almost convinced that they’re going to be saved soon enough. It’s contagious, because Seb is starting to feel the same way and he’s got Kimi to thank for that. Fuck, what would he have done without Kimi here with him?

It’s almost funny to him how the tables have been turned. Seb was so overly positive and happy when they arrived here and he remembers being pissed and annoyed that Kimi was so pessimistic at first. Now the roles are reversed and Kimi is able to pull Seb out of his funk... and he’s so gentle and caring about it, too.

“Go take a bath again, Seb. Look at you, covered in sand again,” Kimi tells him, a fond look on his face.

Seb heart does a little jump at the look, nodding gratefully, pulling Kimi back with him to the sea.

*

It’s halfway through the morning when Kimi emerges from the jungle with some big tree branches. Though Seb has picked up the pieces from falling apart earlier, he cannot find the energy to help Kimi or do anything else than just laying in the shadows, closing his eyes and dreaming of home. But when he sees Kimi struggling with holding the branches, he finally snaps out of it and rushes to the other man’s side, helping him carry it to the ditch.

“What are you planning to do with these?”

“I want to make a proper roof for our ditch. It’ll keep the cold away.”

Even though he doesn’t mind being huddled close to Kimi during the night (on the contrary, he loves it because it makes him feel safe), Seb thinks building a roof is actually a very good idea. The night is so chilly, keeping the wind out would be great. Plus it will keep them dry when it eventually starts raining.

“How can I help?” Seb asks, wanting to make himself useful.

“Maybe you can get more branches like these? I’m going to try and make rope from this.” He shows Sebastian the palm leaves he collected earlier this morning and the German wonders how in the world you could make rope from that. But he trusts Kimi can do it, the man has been quite inventive ever since they arrived here.

This is how they spend the rest of the morning; Seb getting the best quality pieces of wood he can find and Kimi making rope to tie it all together later on. It’s a time consuming task, one they will not complete today, Seb suspects, but he is actually happy for that, it will give them something to do and take their minds off other things. Once Seb has gathered enough branches, he asks Kimi to teach him how to make the rope. They will need quite a lot of it and Kimi is already complaining about his hands hurting from it. He could definitely use the help.

Soon, as they are working alongside each other, they start talking again. It starts with Kimi asking about the Finnish boyfriend again and Seb has to smile at the other man’s curiosity. Seb tells him about Heikki and that it was more of a fling than an actual relationship, but that they still see each other occasionally, just not romantically anymore.

“So do you have a boyfriend now?” Kimi asks as he keeps his eyes on the braiding of the rope.

“Nope, I would have mentioned one before if I had,” Seb answers, smiling. “What about you? Is there someone waiting for you at home?”

Kimi shakes his head, still not looking up. “No, I don’t have the time for a relationship.”

“Oh come on, there must be loads of girls _and_ boys waiting in line for you,” Seb jokes.

This time Kimi does look up, smirking as he says, “I said I don’t have time for relationships. But there’s plenty of time for... other things with boys and girls, I’m not picky.”

Seb is about to answer when a sound gets his attention. The sound of a boat blasting its horn loudly. His head snaps up and with amazement he sees the boat actually coming their way - it’s coming straight at them.

“K-Kimi?” he stutters, turning his head to the other man to check if he’s seeing the same thing as he does. This must be his mind playing tricks right? There is not actually a boat here?

“Jesus Seb, see?! I knew it.”

They stand up, the rope long forgotten, and start to jump up and down, waving with branches and the fishing net and screaming their throats hoarse. After a time, the boat stops and a small lifeboat appears in the water with two men on it.

“Let’s go, Kimi,” Seb yells, taking Kimi’s hand and tugging him along with him to the sea and in the direction of the lifeboat. Kimi runs with him willingly, their hands clasped together tightly and not letting go.

Sebastian feels his heart racing, he can barely believe this is really happening and he’s afraid that he’ll wake up any second now. But the water around his waist feels all too real and the bittersweet joy he sees in Kimi’s eyes cuts through him like a knife. He feels his eyes get wet with emotion as he impatiently waits for the lifeboat to reach them and feels Kimi squeeze his hand to try and calm him.

_Oh. We’re still holding hands._

Letting out a sob and a laugh when the men finally reach them, Seb is so happy that he lets go of Kimi’s hand in order to hug the first man he can get to. He holds him so tightly and keeps saying “thank you, thank you, thank you,” while he sobs into the man’s shoulder. The man allows it with a surprised chuckle, patting Sebastian’s back to try and settle him down.

When Seb finally lets go of the man, both he and Kimi get hauled into the boat.

“How did you find us?” Seb asks.

“We have been looking for the boat since yesterday,” the man Seb hugged answers. “And this morning, we found the passengers in the water. They told us you were here. We found three other survivors on the other side of the island.”

That piques Kimi’s interest and he looks hopeful as he asks in a small, almost inaudible voice, “... Rami?” Seb’s heart clenches at the sight, he can only imagine what Kimi is going through at the moment.

“Yes,” the man says with a big smile, “I think one of them is called Rami. Big tall blonde guy?”

Kimi nods in answer, hardly believing it as he shifts his body to Seb. He almost jumps into his arms in his joy with Seb instantly wrapping his arms around him before Kimi starts to shake in his hold. The other man starts to weep quietly, big tears rolling down his face and onto Seb’s shoulder.

“See Kimi? I knew Rami would be alright,” Seb murmurs into Kimi’s hair. The Finn nods weakly, more tears making Seb’s just dried shoulders wet again. Feeling his own eyes get moist with emotion, too, Seb only hugs him tighter, wishing he could convey his thanks to the other man. What they did in the last 48 hours was extraordinary and Seb could and would not have survived this without him.

Kimi seems to understand, because when he pulls back, there’s a big, fond grin on his face. The affection he has for Seb is clear in his sharp blue eyes and the younger man feels his heartbeat pick up a little. Even more so when Kimi wraps an arm around his shoulder, pulling him into his side. He knows whatever may happen after this, he will always have this amazing connection with Kimi, nothing will change that.

Nowhere to run and nowhere to hide, they were dependent on each other and while they had a rocky start, they worked really well together. With their arms wrapped around the other, they watch the island that was their home away from home for the last two days slowly disappearing into the horizon.


	2. Chapter 2

_Epilogue._

Sebastian had not expected the hectic turn his life would take after being saved. He had somehow imagined that everything would be arranged for him, and that he would have been on a plane back to Germany on the same day he was saved, but he had clearly been wrong about that. He had to wait for a new passport from the German embassy and had to book and pay for a ticket back home. But he had lost everything, his wallet and cards too, so he had to wait for his dad to forward him money to the embassy before he could pay. That alone took a whole day. Luckily he was provided a free hotel room for the time being and some extra clothes and food to get by. 

At several moments during his whole ordeal he thought he would never see his loved ones again and he knows what a miracle it is to be in this situation right now compared to where he was just two days ago. He had been fully expecting to spend more time on the island while they were making a roof for their ditch.. 

When they got back to Bali, he had been incredibly relieved to see Arif in the lounge of the hotel where everyone was gathered. Later, Arif told him that everyone had been saved and only a couple of passengers had to stay the night in the hospital to be monitored but it seemed like everyone would survive. Seb couldn’t believe that the people in the water had survived two more nights in the cold sea and he couldn’t help but be in awe. 

The call to his home front had been incredibly emotional. Before Seb had been brought to the hotel, the German embassy had contacted his family to tell them he was safe, but his mother only believed it when she heard Sebastian’s voice herself. Hearing his mother crying on the other end of the line made Sebastian cry like a baby, too and he can’t wait to get on that plane and fly back home, to the comforting arms of his family. 

He and Kimi had met briefly several times during the two waiting days. Even with his celebrity status, Kimi had to wait for all the legal matters just like Seb had to. The driver has to deal with the prying press, too, and Seb feels sorry for him, knowing now he much he hates it. 

The morning after they were brought to the hotel, he had breakfast with both Kimi and his brother and it was nice to see Rami ok and well. Especially after Rami recounted his version of the events and the fact that he’d barely made it, arriving way after midnight to the island, cold to the bone and passed out on the beach for almost a day. He still looks a little grey around the edges, but Seb is sure they all look rough and worn down. 

Seb collects what little he has in a backpack and takes a ride to the airport with Kimi and Rami. They’ll have to say their goodbyes before they check in, both needing to be at different gates for their flights. Seb will go straight to Frankfurt where he’ll be picked up by his parents and siblings. And of course the Finn brothers will fly home to Helsinkí. 

Just before they go their separate ways, Seb wonders if he’ll ever see Kimi again or that he’ll be forgotten by the other man. Kimi for sure will be caught up by the fast life of a Formula 1 driver soon enough and surely there will be no place for an insignificant German in his life. 

He’s wrong again. As he seems to be all the time when it comes to Kimi, because the driver is nervously shifting on his feet, obviously working up the courage to ask something. Rami is shuffling away, a smirk on his face as he gives Sebastian and Kimi some privacy. 

“Uhm,” Kimi begins, throat clearing. “Would you like to... uhm...”

Seb’s heart starts to beat faster. Wait, is Kimi going to ask him out? Oh shit, what is he going to say? Well, _yes_ of course, but-

“... go to a race someday? I’ll give you a private tour behind the scenes. You know, to make up for that time with the autograph.” 

That makes Sebastian snort out loud. It’s a funny, but sweet gesture, one that Seb will take gladly. He can’t help but feel disappointed though, he really thought... best not to dwell on it. He looks up at Kimi again and sees that the other man is studying his face carefully. The scrutiny makes Seb blush and squirm a little as he smiles lopsided at Kimi, nodding eagerly to answer his question. “I would absolutely love that, Kimi.” 

Kimi smiles back, soft and sweet. 

“Maybe we could have dinner after that.”

The words could mean just that, just dinner, but the way Kimi is saying it... like it may be more than that? 

“Like a date?” Seb says, hope clear in his voice. 

Kimi bites his lip, slowly nodding his head as he shyly replies. “Yeah, just like a date, Seb. Would you want that?”

How Kimi can be still so unsure about that, Seb doesn’t know. He thinks he was pretty obvious in liking Kimi, but apparently not obvious enough. The silence drags on and they both chuckle nervously before Seb finally says, “I would really love that, Kimi.” 

Kimi scribbles down his phone number for Seb and signs it with his autograph, making Sebastian laugh again. 

“Call me when you get home, ok?” Kimi tells him, grinning but his eyes are very serious. They are trying to tell Seb that he means it and the younger man is determined to not let Kimi down, sure to call him once he gets his hands on a working telephone when he gets home. 

The clock keeps ticking though and it’s really time to say goodbye. Seb should have already checked in and he’s starting to sweat with the idea of missing his flight now that he’s so close to getting home. But it’s hard to say goodbye to Kimi, too... 

Kimi sees his conflict and pulls him in for a final hug. “Go now, Seb. You’ll miss your flight. Go to your family. We’ll speak soon, ok?” 

Seb nods, pulling back from the warm hug. Before he knows what’s happening, Kimi is pulling him in and kisses him softly. Just a brief brushing of lips as he tenderly holds Seb’s face in his hands. The feel of the Finn’s lips against his own is making him tingle all over as he closes his eyes and relishes in it. All too soon, Kimi pulls back, his smile bright and fond. 

Seb is just standing there, as if in a daze and he’s probably grinning like a fool. Kimi laughs out loud as he pushes Seb slightly to get him out of it. 

“Go, Seb,” he chuckles. “Don’t want your family to wait any longer...” 

That pulls Seb right back to earth for sure and he smiles at Kimi gratefully. In an impulse he reaches forward and lands one last peck on Kimi’s lips before he grabs his backpack. 

“I will call you as soon as I’m caught up with my family, ok?” 

He is already starting to walk away when he sees Kimi nod eagerly, giving him a thumbs up.

When he gets home, things surely won’t be easy. What he has been through will leave a mark on the rest of his life. His life will never be normal again, he’ll always carry what happened to him with him. But at least he has Kimi to share it with. And Seb can’t wait to make new memories with him. Happy ones this time, he hopes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please let me know what you think? 💕
> 
> My tumblr: [rainbowintheskyf1](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/view/rainbowintheskyf1)


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